NLT
Today is one of those days where I feel like I've been on some sort of spiritual roller coaster. Usually when use that expression, it's in a bad context, but today I can actually refer to it in a mediocre context. When God challenges us, it gets a little real. When it gets real, that's usually when we have the opportunity to fail, succeed, or fail and then succeed.
To see last week's post on enduring through failing & succeeding, go here.
Over the last couple days at work, I've been hearing 5 presentations per day that combine Jesus Christ, media, excellence, and business. This combination of things happens in a lot of different places.. church, evangelism, missional organizations, and in Christian Media. I work for a Christian Media Company as a Graphics Artist.
As we went through the different talks, there were a lot of times I felt really positive & fired-up, and then there were a few times where I started to feel angry, or a little closed-in. Do you ever feel "claustrophobic" due to information or all of a sudden dose of reality? There were a few times I felt like that, almost like a pre-panic attack.
A lot of what we're talking about is transformation on a large scale. That's not what makes me anxious. I'm excited about God working in all things for all-things Greater. The thought that got me was the reality that my life is probably going to be a lot shorter than I think it is. I know a lot of us feel that way, but this was a sudden dose of reality. It kind of went like this:
So, yea.. reality check. That stuff isn't too far away. I am the magic average employee's age. I don't feel it, I don't think it... some would say I'm in denial, but the kind-at-heart would probably say that I'm young-at-heart. I'm cool with the latter ;)
There are some things about the last couple of days that made me feel angry, mostly about myself. I've always seemed to be this magnet for ostracization.. and today, I caught a glimpse of it. For a moment, I got to be the fly on the wall, thanks to technology. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that it was like that Skit Guy's story about the brownie w/ the little piece of dog poop in it. It was a great day today, marred by a small dose of reality.
God worked it out though - I actually received a call with an apology. I didn't expect it.. I was just working it all out in my own mind - and instead of internalizing & justifying the situation, someone actually called me to tell me that they were sorry. I let that person know that it was water under the bridge.
God worked it out though - I actually received a call with an apology. I didn't expect it.. I was just working it all out in my own mind - and instead of internalizing & justifying the situation, someone actually called me to tell me that they were sorry. I let that person know that it was water under the bridge.
James 1:19-27 calls us to be eager in how we react in Christ-likeness. God wants us to open our ears and listen.
Not listening is a really popular thing right now in our culture. It's part of where we are - where everyone wants to speak at-length and be heard. If you watch the news where controversial conversations happen, it's obvious that interrupting is a really popular technique. I've actually conditioned myself to kind of stay quiet most of the time, because I became exhausted by being interrupted by people in conversations.
I know who I can talk at length with if I need to, and I am very grateful for those people.
God also calls us to be slow to react in our words - especially when we're angry. He also calls us to be slow to anger.
Listening, guarding our words, and guarding our emotions - these are things that all work together. I've talked with a lot of people who grew up in angry situations. I grew up with some scary anger happening. I remember those times where there were loud, angry words, and they still are with me.
James goes on to talk about how we can't just acknowledge these ideals and values, that we have to actually live them out. Living these things challenges us to fail & grow in our obedience. Sometimes the idea of obedience is enough to anger, because it's a word that resembles growing up with our parents - but our relationship with God is different. In every way, our relationship with God is greater.
Does your love for God resemble your love for your parents?
For me, it does a lot of the time. I think sometimes we look at the brokenness of the love we have for our families, and for people in general. We have to forgive a lot, and sometimes it's hard to get there. Being obedient to God means that we have to be bigger than those obstacles.
Yes, I am eating my own words at the moment! ;)
Though, I can look back and see growth in how I express love to my parents. Over the last few years, my wife and I have had them over to our house a couple times per week to cook for them. I see it as time to be together, even with the occasional drama. When I cook for them, I feel like I am doing something to honor them. I feel like it is an offering of comfort and sustenance. I always want the food to be the best it can be, and I always feel a sense of anticipation - that it's a privilege to serve them and honor them. My wife and I do the same for her family whenever they visit.
Just writing that, I can see a greater resemblance in those relationships to growing in a relationship with God - how the anticipation of giving an "offering" of honor and/or worship resemble one another.
This is so important, not only for love, but in living out our faith in a real way. It isn't a show.
Though, I can look back and see growth in how I express love to my parents. Over the last few years, my wife and I have had them over to our house a couple times per week to cook for them. I see it as time to be together, even with the occasional drama. When I cook for them, I feel like I am doing something to honor them. I feel like it is an offering of comfort and sustenance. I always want the food to be the best it can be, and I always feel a sense of anticipation - that it's a privilege to serve them and honor them. My wife and I do the same for her family whenever they visit.
Just writing that, I can see a greater resemblance in those relationships to growing in a relationship with God - how the anticipation of giving an "offering" of honor and/or worship resemble one another.
This is so important, not only for love, but in living out our faith in a real way. It isn't a show.
As a husband and hopefully as a future dad, it is my hope and commitment that God will work in my heart as a parent - that I would be girded & guarded against anger. We learn from our parents. It's been a constant prayer to God that I would not carry the kind of anger I experienced forward. I don't want to find myself in my 60's, and just starting to get along with my kids. I want to be able to look back, and see unashamed richness, love, and kindness - that God would work in my heart to seek out that perfect way to grow my family, and continue to be grown.
May we all know that God's love is perfect... the longer we build a relationship with him through the grace of his Son Jesus Christ, the more we begin to see that His love is perfect. He's big enough and perfect enough to forgive the imperfections of how we love. It's up to us to take the first step, by prayerfully being slow to speak, slow to anger, and opening our ears more. When we do that, we not only grow towards hearing the things that people have to say, but we make space to God's voice as well.
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